– homage to my (chosen) tribe – 

Being genetically related doesn’t make you family. Love, support, trust, sacrifice, honesty, protection, acceptance, security, compromise, gratitude, respect, and loyalty is what makes you family.
This is something I constantly remind myself and my husband; there has never been a lack of love within our genetically related family, but there has been a lack of support, sacrifice, honesty, acceptance, compromise, gratitude, and respect. Which are major components to continuing a loving relationship, love can not be simply reciprocated because it is socially implied that you have to love someone because they’re from the same gene pool. 

We’ve taken this saying and have directly applied it to our life and who we consider our family, it has simplified our lives immensely and has even made our marriage stronger since we no longer bicker about how this family member is doing this and this other family member is doing that.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been completely judgmental of my immediate family, I have a very strong ‘mama bear’ quality that sends me in to extreme protection mode when something happens that I’m like “nope, this is not okay”. I, 98% of the time, have the other person’s best interest at heart when I go in to ‘judgmental, unsupportive, unacceptance, and disrespectful’ mode. The trait that makes it seem insincere, is that I can be completely thoughtless and my radical honesty comes flying out of my mouth without even considering the repercussions. I am not perfect, and I definitely have a lot of foot in mouth moments, my husband can definitely vouch for this. 

The family I am lucky enough to do life with and has chosen to do life with us is absolutely amazing, and yes it’s the family I am doing life with, not just my husband because it takes a tribe to raise tiny humans, and I could not have a more extraordinary tribe.

From my own immediate family (I am extremely lucky to have amazing parents that my kids are obsessed with), to my extremely close friends that I can spill my guts to and only get the utmost support from (I don’t know how I’d get through most days without them and they will always be a giant part of me), to my father in law and his entire family who has welcomed me in to their family as if I were one of their own; a family that I could honestly spend time with (which I have), without even having my husband around because they are my family, with or without him.

Lastly to the most important parts of my tribe, my husband and my kids. As much as I have complained about him and nag the crap out of him and all the amounts of sh!t we have put each other through, he is always going to be my rock and he is an amazing husband and father. 7 days out of the week he’s going to drive me insane, but there’s no one else I would want it to be, I know I can be an absolute crazy person and sometimes it seems like I am completely ungrateful, but please always know I am 110% grateful to you for working your ass off for this family, and for allowing me to stay home and raise these tiny yet sometimes impossible, but absolutely adorable kids. Those babes have definitely made me who I am today, I might be two steps away from a mental institution most of the time, but they are the best parts of me.

Without them I would have clean hair more often than I do, my legs shaved more than once a week, I’d still be a size 2, my home would stay clean, my brain would be less scattered, I wouldn’t be a human jungle gym, I’d actually get ‘me time’, but I wouldn’t want any of that back, because hearing ‘I love you mama’ and having those tiny little baby arms wrapped around my neck and big kisses planted all over me is honestly the best feeling in the world, even if they are big slobbery kisses half the time.
The 2 year old has awoken from her nap now so toodles for today. Hopefully my mom brain has made some sense, but I just wanted to do a quick rant on how important the people that compose my family are. I love you all, and if I don’t say it enough, THANK YOU!!

Love your tribe today, and never take them for granted. 
Xo, -Married Single Mama

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